It is ok in life to be cautious, even take calculated risks.
We have all heard the term “overthinking it”, well this can happen in life when
we take caution and let it be driven into fear. How can it make the change, and
how can it happen so fast?
Fire
The best way to demonstrate how fear can take control is to
think of your fireplace. You take the time to properly make sure you fire is
built right, get all the right size sticks, some paper, logs, etc. Once you
strike that match and light the fire it comes to life. At this point you
typically have a pretty controlled fire. What happens once you open the damper below
the fire? The controlled fire now becomes a roaring fire and consumes the wood quickly.
In the fireplace at home this is a manageable situation, one we can close the
damper reduce the air causing the raging fire, but what happens when that fire
is out in the world?
Every
year it seems we hit a season where wildfires rampage across parts of the
globe. What starts sometimes as small as a spark, roars into an uncontrollable
inferno engulfing everything in its way. Total destruction and devastation is
left behind because what started small got a gust of wind and roared to life. Fire
can be extremely useful in our lives, we use it to heat our houses, cook our
food, even manufacturer products, but left unattended or blown on, it can cause
devastation in our lives.
Fear
Caution turns into fear when like the fire, left unattended
or blown on. The source of the wind can come from strangers even close family
members, it can even be unintentional by those closest to us. Regardless of
where it comes from, it can be crippling. Fear takes control over us, becoming
incapable of pushing forward, unable to escape. We become claustrophobic in our
own thoughts. Fear though is a liar, it is a tool used to diminish you. We must
stop and remember, just like the controlled fire, until an outside force intentionally
injected itself into our lives we were ok. It’s not the fire that should cause
us to be worried, its whose blowing the wind on our fire we need to look at. The
minute we let ourselves become controlled by someone else exerting their force
over us we become enslaved to their will.
Good Intentions...
Most of the time we have good intentions when we see another
in a place of fear. At the same time what we think is helpful is doing the
opposite. In our attempt to have empathy for their situation we ended up
speaking words that act as fuel on the fire of fear. Why do we do this, it’s
not intentional, its out of a good place. In my own experience, when I was
dealing with trying to find work to support my family, I was told about people’s
thoughts and prayers. Thoughts like “Don’t worry about what kind of job”, “Trust
God, He has a plan for you” or “God’s in Control”. While they are all truth
statements, none of that helps ease my fear. The fire is raging at my door, it
feels like you just said to me, once the fire is done, I’ll help you rebuild
your house. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO REBUILD, I WANT TO STOP IT BEFORE IT GETS
HERE!!
What I needed in this moment was the person to do something,
not say something. Showing up at my door with a gift card to the grocery store
is you coming along side me and saying, “I know you are in a rough spot, but
let’s go through this together, I got you.” That is water on the fire, a
grocery gift card that gave us peace for a few weeks on how we would feed our
family. No one asked us about it, we do not even know who did this, but talk
about bringing peace during our time of fear. Someone had a thought of how they
could help us, and they acted. They acted in a way that lets us release a fear,
but at the same time use their help on our time, our terms. They helped us
escape the bondage of our fear, even if just a little, still a move in the
right direction. One less thing to speak fear over us.
Steps To Get Out of Fear
1. Be honest with God, yourself and those around you.
First step to recovery is admitting you have a problem,
right? Same goes with fear. You must be honest with everyone, let them know.
The only way they can begin to help is if they know there is a problem in the
first place.
2. Wait & listen
To often in a crisis we make decisions that are made in an
irrational state of mind. We feel panicked and that we must do something. That
is us trying to solve the problem, we need to get ourselves out of the way of
ourselves. We must allow the work to be done around us, but if we are being
irrational, those around us won’t even be able to get a pulse on the situation.
It’s attempting to help a moving target, and people will just give up and say
things like, “I tried to help, but they just really didn’t seem to want it”
3. Evaluate and remain honest
Look at your options around you, what are your choices. Stop
and evaluate everything going on, including those you have around you. Get the
negative Nancy’s and positive Polly’s out of your inner circle. Honestly, they
are not doing you much good. Find people that speak truth, but speak life at
the same time. To break the bondage of fear out of your life, you might need to
hear some hard truths, but someone walking with you through your fear will
understand and be there with you as you fall and need to be picked up.
Fear is a Liar
Fear
will make you feel isolated, it will attempt to deceive you into believing you
are the only one. It will attempt to convince you that others will judge you. Guess
what, your not alone and it doesn’t matter what others might think, they have
their own insecurities to deal with if they are judging you. I will be the
first one to admit, I Don’t Got This. Life is full of twists and turns, taking
one day at a time. I can be cautious about decisions in my life, but no longer
is fear allowed to paralyze me from moving forward.
Lastly, even if the fire has burned it all down in your
life. The beauty that can rise from the ashes is evidence of a new life
starting, going forward from that day. All is not lost, you still have
everything in front of you. Have no fear, You Got This…
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